I am feeling an paradox today. I began this search for greener housing out of a desire to live more in harmony with all beings of earth. It grew out of a deepening experience of our interconnection in an earth community. Yet, the disruption and labor of moving from one place to another has chipped away at that felt sense of connection and I have been out of balance and spiritually exhausted.
What helps me to start finding my way back into balance are the walks I take most mornings near our new home. I go out our back door, and then wander in our neighborhood, some days over to the Hall Trail near Capisic Brook, other days over to the trails at Evergreen Cemetery. I’ve found a huge old grandmother tree a few blocks away, the oldest one I’ve seen so far. Given the season and lack of leaves, I don’t even know what species it is, though I am wondering about Maple, since there are maple seeds on the ground nearby.
Along my walks, the cardinals have been singing their most beautiful dawn songs, naming their territories and wooing their loves. I am a tree person and a cardinal person and so I stop to put my hands on this tree, and I stop to listen to the cardinal songs, and try to catch a glimpse of them, usually bright and beautiful near the top branches. There are cardinals in our own yard too. So day by day, I hope to restore my strength, to reweave the threads that are torn and frayed from the move.
I understand. That is how I feel in the aftermath of seminary! I’m thinking an ocean retreat might help me recover my spirit.